Dawn
by Iridian's Legacy
Summary: The team comes back from a brutal case and Spencer is trying to forget the details when JJ gives him an idea. No slash! Just a oneshot I thought about after watching a movie :P


**[A.N: K, sooo I know it isnt Shakespeare or Dickens or Dante or whaever author yall really like, but I thought 'Heyy why not?' I was bored and it sounded good when I wrote it in my head. Sooo yeah! Reviews are encouraged and I will not get mad if you critique me harshly. I want to get better at this, especially oneshots, so be honest. I'll shut up now and let you read ^^ ]**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Criminal Minds. I don't know why we have to put these disclaimers cuz, honestly, the owners shouldn't be on a website called FANfiction anyway. That's backwards. It's obvious we don't own CM or CBS. K I'm done.**

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Reid was home. Finally. That case… nothing could erase it from his cursed eidetic memory. He could still see and smell the mutilated bodies, lying face up in the Arizona summer heat, left to be pecked by the scavengers of the desert. The stench of rotting flesh and tacky blood still made the young doctor cringe. The sound of the UnSub's explanation in the police station still made him furious; "They deserved it. John? He was cheating on his wife. Amy? She was an addict. They had it coming."

Reid entered his apartment and set his messenger bag on the table. He unclipped his gun from his belt and set it next to the bag. So, what now?

It was always hard for the team to return to their normal lives after a case like this. It didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair that innocent (for the most part) people had just been tortured and killed in cold blood right before their eyes and the team still lived. What had they done? The victims were just living their lives and bam. Someone decided to just waltz in and ruin it.

Spencer punished himself inwardly for thinking like this again. It always sent an agonizing pain of guilt through him, a pain worse than his frequent headaches, because no amount of Aspirin or Dilaudid could erase it. It tore through him like a knife, ripping up every bit of goodness and self-worth he had in his soul. It drove him to tears at times, although he knew they didn't make anything better. The knife would plunge deep into his being several times, like his own personal Foyet, showing up whenever he was stupid enough to blame himself for something that went on states away.

Reid walked into his apartment living room and lay slowly down on the couch. Not bothering to remove his shoes, he tried to sleep, desperate to be rid of the migraine that had returned to him a few hours ago on the plane. He pressed down on his eyes and took deep breaths. It was good to be home… kind of.

His phone vibrated in the bag on the table, awaking the sleeping giant in his forehead that had dozed off a while ago. Reid fought not to lose his temper as he eased off the couch and retrieved his phone. JJ was calling.

"Hello?" Reid answered groggily.

"_Hey Spence. I didn't wake you did I?"_ JJ's soft voice cooed through the speaker. Reid looked at the clock. He didn't realize it had become 10 o'clock.

"No… no, it's fine. I wasn't sleeping anyway." It wasn't really a lie. He _wasn't_ sleeping. It just wasn't fine.

"_Oh, I'm so sorry. It kind of makes the purpose of my calling pointless now, doesn't it?"_

"Well, I don't know. Why are you calling?" he asked, regretting it. Not another case. Please, not another case!

"_Just wondering how you were doing. You seemed a little bothered in Arizona. You were wearing your sunglasses again, I noticed."_

Reid sighed and bit his lip. "Yeah, but so were you. It was sunny, it's Arizona."

She laughed a little on the other end. _"You know that's not what I meant."_ When she got no answer from the doctor she spoke again. _"Listen, I just want you to know that we're all here for you, ok? Me, Morgan, Hotch. We care. You know that, right?"_

Reid rubbed his eyes again, finding himself anxious to get off the phone with JJ. That wasn't normal. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, JJ."

"_Anytime." _Another moment of silence. _"Hey, Spence, here's an idea. When I feel bad, like after coming home from a case like this, I just try to occupy myself with something else. Like a movie by myself or listening to music."_

"You think I haven't tried?" Spencer asked with a laugh. "JJ, when we came back from the pig farm I stayed up for hours reading. I whizzed through 19 books and I still can't forget-"

"_Neither can I! But you'll be surprised what a period of peace can do for you after something like this. Does me miracles, even little ones."_

Reid pondered this for a moment. He'd tried. Man, had he tried! "But JJ-"

"_Just trust me," _she urged. _"Here's a tip; don't read. Try something new. Weren't you learning the piano a while back?"_

That sparked something. Spencer had never thought of that. It didn't strike him as something he would do to silence the demons that haunted him. But still, it was an idea. "Uh, yeah. Yeah actually. How'd you know?"

You could tell she was smiling as JJ slyly answered, "I saw you practicing the desk-piano at the office. You were getting better every time I caught you doing it."

Reid smiled and blushed, thankful his peer wasn't there to see the color his face had turned. "Oh…" JJ laughed again.

"_Well, I gotta go. Will's late coming home and I've got Henry to put down before too long."_

"Ok. Thanks JJ."

"_Anytime, Spence," _she almost whispered. _"Good night."_

"Good night."

Reid set his phone down and leaned back in the chair he'd settled in. How had he never thought about using the piano to calm down? It was one of the most obvious answers! Maybe because it was just something he wasn't expected to do? Reading was kind of his trademark. 20,000 words per minute, most people would think he put that talent to good use. But piano…

Reid stood up slowly and walked to the spare room in the back. He'd turned it into an office/library. There really was no need for an extra bedroom, except for the miniscule probability that he ever had guests. His mom wasn't allowed to leave the sanitarium unless it was an emergency, and what were the odds that he was somehow going to get a girl? Even then, it probably wouldn't go so far that they moved in together. So, an office it was.

A small wooden desk faced the back wall, an assortment of files and papers scattered over the surface. A floor lamp sat next to it, stretching slightly over the desk and illuminating its contents and the room dimly. A large bookshelf was positioned in the corner of the room. Gold titles, in English and other languages, shone on the bindings of several books that filled up every shelf. Still more books stood between stone holders on the top. And still, others were stacked on the desk, in the corners, and on the windowsill. These didn't include the collection the genius had in his room, another cabinet in the living room, under the T.V., and so on.

Spencer walked in the room and turned immediately to his right. Against the wall was a wooden electronic piano. All 84 black and white keys sat on the board, waiting to be touched. A wooden stand was perched above it for music to be placed. He sighed and sat at the stately instrument on a cushioned bench.

Might as well give it a try. Anything to get rid of the images of those bodies.

He got his fingers set in a C position. He'd gotten pretty well at this, playing whenever he had free time and, like JJ revealed, practicing at his desk at work. By now, 6 months after he had started, he could play all the songs in the little starter book that came with the piano, _Tetris_, the _Star Wars _theme song and more from the movies, _Ode to Joy_, and plenty of others. He even had started writing a little segment of his own, though he didn't dare tell anyone. Morgan would be onto him like Reid lived off mockery.

Now that he was here, though, Spencer didn't know what to play. He tried picking a song from the various books in the bench, but they didn't appeal to him. Plus, some of them were just plain depressing. That was the last thing he needed right now.

So Spencer sat there for a while, listening as the clock in the living room chimed softly eleven times. Visions of the mutilated bodies and blood trails back in Arizona kept flashing in and out of focus. Another headache was coming on, he could feel it. Reid tried to occupy himself anyway, even if it wasn't a particular song. He just did a few scales and tried out some new or different chords with the black keys. He did a particular phrase that made something stir inside of him. It was a recognizable tune, though he couldn't place it exactly.

Then he moved his right hand up a little bit and pressed a certain key a couple of times. That's where it was from. Instinctively, his left hand joined in with the right. Starting from the beginning, Reid's now nimble fingers began dancing along the array of keys, running up and down the sections of keys and switching tempos.

The young doctor filled the room with the sweet lullaby of Dawn, that piece from the 2005 _Pride and Prejudice_ movie Emily had convinced him to watch one day. He never really realized just how soothing it was. The combinations of low and high octave notes gave the sense of… what was it? Laughing? Flying? Dancing? He couldn't really place what the music depicted, which he found odd. Most music told a story when it was first invented. It told about war, or death, or a celebration of some sorts. This though… Spencer could think of plenty of scenarios where this melody would fit. It could be appropriate at a wedding, or a ball, or a depiction of the sweet release of death. Maybe just a walk through the woods during the spring.

While trying to find what story this enchanting piece told, Spencer played the chorus over and over again. He started over many times, not wanting to finish the song. He repeated phrases, pressing down with his left and right hands separately then together to memorize the sounds they produced. Were they bitter? Were they joyous? He couldn't tell. Along the way, he'd pulled out some sheet music he got online and wrote down the song, playing sections slowly to make sure they were right when he recorded them.

He didn't even notice the clock strike twelve in the living room. He hadn't realized that he no longer saw the blood and bodies back in the deserts of Arizona. His headache was gone. It was just him and the piano.

Surprising, what can get you most distracted when you're desperate to forget. When Reid checked the clock on the wall behind him he was surprised but also disappointed that it read 1:15. But he succumbed to his fatigue, climbing into bed, thanking JJ mentally, and drifting off quickly to the lullaby of Dawn.

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**Sooooo how was it? :D PWEEZ review! PWEEEZ? anyway. If you want to get a feel for what Spencer was playing, I reccommend listening to the song on youtube or something. Really pretty. It relaxes me so that's why I picked it for this story. Review pweez!**


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